so my dad has been making bird noises for the last hour and finally I was like dad are you trying to summon me or something like what are you doing
then he goes “oh good you got my tweet” and giggled manically
my dad thinks hes famous now, he keeps asking me to check the notes
Your dad-pure genius
best friends more like “hey I found porn of your OTP here you go”
so every year after the juniors finish reading The Great Gatsby my high school english teacher throws a Gatsby party at his huge house and everyone shows up in period clothing and Charlestons to 20s music and my english teacher just wears a suit and stands off to the side staring wistfully out the window the entire night
you guys think I’m joking??
What if people who have anxiety are just unaccustomed to the way the world works because this is the first incarnation of their soul on the earth? And confident people are at ease with the world because they have already been incarnated multiple times and, in a sense, already know how the world works.
What if it’s the other way around?
I don’t know which disturbs me more.
I want to do adult things with you
*moans* pay the mortgage
*breathes* go make sure we turned off all the lights, our utility bill was fucking $300 this month
do you ever just get so zoned into your music that you forget that you’re staring at someone’s dick or that you’re walking in a crowded hallway or that life is real
you don’t understand how hard it is to take a selfie when you’re ugly
Emma Watson | 86th Annual Academy Awards (March 2, 2014).